Asalam aleykum everyone
I've researched this topic quite a bit and have found very informative refutations; however, they're in Arabic so not everyone will be able to understand them.
The first refutation can be found here:
https://www.eltwhed.com/vb/showthread.php?59787-%EF%BF%BD%EF%BF%BD%EF%BF%BD%EF%BF%BD%EF%BF%BD%EF%BF%BD%EF%BF%BD-%EF%BF%BD%EF%BF%BD%EF%BF%BD%EF%BF%BD%EF%BF%BD%EF%BF%BD-%EF%BF%BD%EF%BF%BD-%EF%BF%BD%EF%BF%BD%EF%BF%BD%EF%BF%BD-%EF%BF%BD%EF%BF%BD-%EF%BF%BD%EF%BF%BD%EF%BF%BD%EF%BF%BD-%EF%BF%BD%EF%BF%BD%EF%BF%BD-%EF%BF%BD%EF%BF%BD%EF%BF%BD%EF%BF%BD-%EF%BF%BD%EF%BF%BD%EF%BF%BD%EF%BF%BDIt basically explains how different all the narrations of the hadith are, and that it is most likely there was a mistake in transmission or a misunderstanding.
It claims that the prophet PBUH actually meant that if women did not have these fluids then how else could a child resemble her. An addition to this by me is that even if there was no mistake, it is very clear that the prophet PBUH was not referring to the ejaculated fluid by women, since in that case what if a woman does not ejaculate during intercourse? Surely people also knew that a child was not formed outside of the womb, yet ejaculated fluid has to be outside in order to be "ejaculation"
This next link shows how narrators could have made mistakes and highlights what is told about the narrators in the chains of these hadiths.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1rUN9WOOkiGqmx3GBVIzydHTcg6PVrHym/viewThe second refutation can be found in the next link here:
http://www.eltwhed.com/vb/showthread.php?36315-%E3%C7%C1-%C7%E1%E3%D1%C3%C9-%D4%C8%E5%C9-%C3%E3-%C5%DA%CC%C7%D2-%BFIt basically shows that the um sulayim hadith has a different meaning and that the child resembles the woman in the fact they both have a reproductive system that also includes a fluid due to arousal. This is also shown in a different narration of this hadith also in the link ( النساء شقائق الرجال). It also explains how this is extremely different from what the Greeks said about these fluids. It also emphasizes the point that these women are the wives of the prophet PBUH so it is very unlikely that they did not know about these fluids. It is also very likely that this hadith is after the hadith of the jew that asked about resemblance when the prophet PBUH explained the yellow water of women which is the follicular fluid surrounding the ovum, and that all Muslims would have known about this. Therefore, it is almost impossible for the prophet PBUH's wives to not also know about this. It further states that it is unlikely the true conversation included the part of the water in women since it would be very disrespectful of a woman let alone the prophet PBUH's wives to ask about such a thing publicly.
Prophet Muhammad PBUH would also have know what colour ejaculated fluid of a woman is since he PBUH had married a lot in his life and would have known it is whitish. In contrast to the yellow water hadith in which he PBUH talks about the follicular fluid. So Umm Sulaiym(RA)'s objection could not have been concerning the fact women have this fluid, rather it is about how a woman feels towards a man. This is explained in detail in the link.
Peace.
