@Ramih97 who can fully put his heart in anything? if it's locked nothing can open it except Allah willing even if you made sure of it, but since you are searching i ask god that you are subliminally pleases to go straight or i don't think it will work. i ask Allah that one day you will know the wisdom of why Allah prohibited somethings like why adultery is prohibited! and know about one of the most important things which is the balance that Allah put, and experience these spiritual side knowledges. so be careful in that journey our brother of Deen.
(2-26)Muhammad Sarwar: "God does not hesitate to set forth parables of anything even a gnat. The believers know that it is the truth from their Lord, but those who deny the truth say, "What does God mean by such parables?" In fact, by such parables God misleads and guides many. However, He only misleads the evil doers"
81:27-29
" It is naught but a reminder for the nations, For him among you who pleases to go straight. And you do not please except that Allah please, the Lord of the worlds."
you can go ascending with god willing if you pleases. it seems that Allah willed you to see this and that ways (90-10)"And shown him the two highways?" and showing you how the straight path is and letting you to choose what you will. so you maybe can try to go ascending with his willing. i ask Allah to guide to the straight path .
{وَمَا تَشَاؤُونَ إِلَّا أَن يَشَاء اللَّهُ رَبُّ الْعَالَمِينَ}
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJWRqMTVAmQhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Esa-eeQGsa0