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Women's Right for Sex with their Husbands

By
Karim
(He is a new convert to Islam, from the Netherlands)

 

 

In islam husband and wife both have the right for sexual satisfaction, a spouse's sexual advances should be welcomed.

Many christian missionaries hide this fact (women’s right for sex in islam), and they only misquote hadith about a husbands right for sex (to read my reponse to the hadith they misquote , see:  http://www.answering-christianity.com/karim/no_marital_rape.htm ) . Let’s read about women’s right for sex.

 

women’s right for sex in Islam:


And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them, according to what is equitable; but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them. And Allah is Exalted in Power, Wise (2:228).  (read tafsir of this verse at: http://www.answering-christianity.com/karim/men_and_women_daraja.htm )


One basic right of every husband and wife taking on a contract never to have sex other than with their own legitimate partner is that each spouse should therefore provide sexual fulfillment (imta') to the other, as part of the bargain.


A women’s right for sex with their husband is established from the Qur’an and authentic Sunnah (hadith) from the Prophet (peace be upon him).


In the Qur'an we read: {turn not away (from a woman) altogether, so as to leave her (as it were) hanging} (4:129) . Further the Prophet approved Salman's word to Abu al-Darda': “_and your wife has a right over you.” (Sahih Bukhari, Vol.7, No. 127)) This unanimously means cohabitation.


And al-Qurtubi said: “She has over him the same right of sexual cohabitation he has over her.” (Tafsir for 2:178).


Permitted to you, on the night of the fasts, is the approach to your wives
. They are garments for you and you are garments for them.” [Qur’an, 2.187]


Commentary note 195, page 75, The Meaning of the Holy Quran ‘Abdullah Yusuf Ali:
Men and women are each other’s garments i.e. they are for mutual support, mutual comfort, and mutual protection, fitting into each other as a garment fits the body. A garment also is both for show and concealment.


Allah swt clearly points out that men and women are each other’s garment, so a husband who ignores this function (being a garment for his wife, ‘meaning satisfying her needs physical/emotional) commanded to him (and given to him) by Allah swt has clearly committed a sin:


"Then shall anyone who has done an atom's weight of good, see it!  And anyone who has done an atom's weight of evil, shall see it.
  (The Noble Quran, 99:7-8)"


Dr. Muzammil H. Siddiqi, former President of the Islamic Society of North America, correctly states:


“It is also emphasized in Islam that a husband should not deny his wife’s physical needs. Both of them are related to each other, as Allah says in the Qur’an, “They are a garment for you and you are a garment for them…” (Al-Baqarah: 187) A husband who without any genuine reason neglects his wife’s needs is as sinful as a wife who neglects her husband’s needs without any excuse. The husband and wife both should care for each other in all matters, whether they are moral and spiritual or financial and physical. The relationship between the husband and wife should be based on what the Qur’an says, “love and compassion” (al-Rum: 21).  ( fatwa by Mufti Muzammil Siddiqi at Islamonline.com)


This is why the Shariah has made it obligatory for both spouses to fulfill the sexual needs of their spouse in marriage
. This is understood, the scholars say, from the abovementioned Qur’anic verse (2:187)

Ibn Abidin (Allah have mercy on him) says,

Among the rulings of marriage is that each spouse is allowed to derive sexual  pleasure from the other.” [ Radd al-Muhtar, 3.4]

Also:  "...on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and God brings about through it a great deal of good.  (The Noble Quran, 4:19)"

 


Brother Osama correctly stated:


‘How can a husband live on a "footing of kindness and equity" with his wife if he intentionally deprives her from sex?  How is that fair and "equity"?

Also remember that one of the main reasons for marriage is to give a halal (legal) outlet for our natural sexual urges. If a man  repeatedly refuses to fulfill the sexual needs of his wife, this would tempt the wife to seek satisfaction outside the marriage.

Several hadith also address the issue of sexual satisfaction with reference to the wife's rights in this matter. The Prophet advised Abdullah bin Amr bin Al-As (who spent all day fasting and all night in prayer) to fast sometimes and not at other times; to pray at night and to sleep at night. "Your body has a right over you, your eyes have a right over you and your wife has a right over you." (Sahih Bukhari, Vol.7, No. 127) The wife's rights include a right to companionship from her husband and fulfillment of her sexual needs

Islam pays great attention to the intimate aspect of the husband-wife relationship. Sexual fulfillment can never be detached or separated from an attitude of mutual respect, love, and emotional attachment.


Finally i would like to quote a fatwa concering this issue (mutual support, satisfacion) of the great mufti  Sheikh Ahmad Kutty’:


“According to the Qur’an, the purpose of marriage is to attain sukun
(tranquility and peace; see for instance verses 30:21; 7:189), which can never be achieved through impulsive sexual fulfillment unless it is accompanied by mutual love, affection, caring, and sharing, which are all part and parcel of a fulfilling and productive marriage relationship. Islam, as we know it holistically from the sources, is a balanced way of looking at things. Sexual fulfillment can never be detached or separated from an attitude of mutual respect, love, and emotional attachment, otherwise it can hardly be distinguished from the behavior of brutes. Mind you, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) warned couples against hopping into beds like birds without proper foreplay and preparation, which includes showing affection and tender care.

Now coming to mutual obligations of spouses, it is lucidly and beautifully expressed in the following verses: (And cohabit with them on terms of utmost decency and fairness) (An-Nisa’ 4: 19); (And they (women) have rights similar to those of men in fairness) (Al-Baqarah 2: 228). In light of these, it is only reasonable to assume that a husband must set an example of fairness and compassion in dealing with his wife. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was especially known for his compassionate treatment of his family. He was extremely caring and gentle with them; he enjoyed their company, and he said that it was one of the best things that he cherished in this world. He also told the faithful that the best thing for a believer to reckon in this world was the companionship of a righteous wife. In keeping with the spirit of such teachings, it is wrong for anyone to reduce woman to the position of an object for sexual gratifications.

In Islam, man and woman in general, as well as husband and wife in particular, are equal partners; just as a husband has needs to which a wife is expected to be responsive, a wife also has needs to which a husband should be responsive. To be successful, marriage must be based on mutual reciprocity and consensual relationship. We know that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was in the habit of drinking from the same cup with his wife, thus placing his lips in the same spot where she placed hers. He would take a bite of food and then she would take another bite. It is this Prophetic attitude of mutual respect, affection, and companionship that should serve as a role model for all the married couples in Islam”. 
(Excerpted, with slight modifications, from: www.islam.ca)

 

And Remember!


Verily in the messenger of Allah ye have a good example for him who looketh unto Allah and the last Day, and remembereth Allah much
( Qurán 33:21).

 

See also:


http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/Satellite?pagename=IslamOnline-English-Ask_Scholar/FatwaE/FatwaE&cid=1119503549692


Denying a Wife’s Physical Needs: A Sin?
(answered my Mufti Dr. Muzammil H. Siddiqi)


http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/Satellite?pagename=IslamOnline-English-Ask_Scholar/FatwaE/FatwaE&cid=1119503547176


Biography of ‘Mufti Ahmed Kuty’
(from which i quoted the fatwa about mutual love and support in islam):


http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/Satellite?cid=1119503615013&pagename=IslamOnline-English-Ask_Scholar%2FFatwaCounselorE%2FFatwaCounselorE

 

 

 

 

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